The Legopolis Effect
by Ponella
Summary: The script for my college film-making class - a hopefully epic tale about what would happen if Lego Aliens tried to take over the Earth. In Norwich. Will hopefully be converted into fanfiction format once everything is filmed - R&R, and enjoy!
1. Scene 1

**A/N:** I tried converting this into my usual fanfiction format a while ago, but it gave me a headache, so I'm leaving it as is.

It's my Lego/Doctor Who crossover (for film-making) entitled 'The Legopolis Effect'. We've already started filming (or at least practice-filming until we got some of the props) and I have some awesome tracks lined up for when I get to do sound-editing on the finished product. The entire script is already written, but I'll just upload scenes as chapters. Maybe when the film's finished I'll have another dimension to work from to properly write this in my normal format.

**Scene 1**

Humans 1, 2 [3?] walk into the Rugroom. Cut from window (5 secs weather shot) to movement at door.

Human 1 (with watergun): "Which way did it go?" [Looks around]

Human 2: [shakes head] "It's a _witch_; It could be miles away by now."

H3: [points to blue armchair] "There!"

Carrionite [large figure] standing on chair arm, looking menacing – squawk for effect (e.g. eagle, hawk)

H2: "She's still got tiny witchcraft! Take aim, Lieutenant!"

H1: [shoots at doll, misses] "It's got a run on us!"

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: "_MORE THAN YOU KNOW!_"

H2: "Who's that!? Reveal yourself!"

Cut to three Lego figures sitting on computer desk: "_We_ are omnipotent!"

H2: [laughs] "You're _tiny_! Your size is _nothing_ against our advanced weaponry!"

Legos: "Your weapons will count for naught, once we are equal! CARRIONITE, DESCEND!"

Carrionite: [squawk] [flies in on humans, probably on string]

5 secs later

H1: "I can't believe she tied us up."

H3: "…I can't believe she had rope."

H2: "Gentlemen! It's _rope_. We have _guns_" [buzz sound, H2 escapes ties. H1/3 follows]

H2: [walks into corridor] "They have warriors. What have we got?"

[H1/3 check pockets] H1: "Old tissues, a bus ticket and a receipt for our useless weapons."

H2: "Besides that! Our stealth, our ingenuity, and most importantly–"

H3: "Pepper Pots!"

H2: [Looks bewildered at H3, shakes head] "…No, Corporal, our–"

H1: "He's right, sir…" [Points to corner of corridor]

[All three stare at Daleks, unmoving] H1: "They're just… sitting there. Maybe they're in stasis?"

H2: "Or maybe they're _toys_." [Walks up to Daleks, kicks one over] "See?"

Mysterious voice (again): "_In this form, they are a mere trinket. But down at their size, the world is a deadly place_."

H3: "You again!"

H1: "Are plastic Daleks the best you could do?"

MV: "_There is a nucleic ray we have placed strategically at some point along this corridor. We tested it on a person just last week, had marvellous effects_-"

H2: "And your point is…?"

MV: "_We shall make you __**small**__, like us. Our drones will seem all the more real when they're big enough to destroy you!_"

H3: "Will we be yellow too? Because I don't want to be Simpsons-coloured all my life."

MV: "_THE DISCOLOURATION IS MERELY A BI-PRODUCT OF THE RAY! Its prime directive is to shrink snotty kids like yourselves until you are defenceless against us!_"

H2: "You'll never defeat us! We have…" [Looks down at 'weapon'] "…Damn military budget cuts." [Glares at H1] "You were supposed to get NERF or higher!"

H1: [looks around, points down corridor] "Why don't we just get out of this corridor?"

MV: [snickers] "_Then we'll just move the raygun!_"

H2: "Weren't you leaving?"

[Silence] H2: "There! No more nasty voices while Lieutenant Awesome is around!"

H1: "I thought _I_ was Lieutenant!"

H2: "Outranked!" [Walks down corridor boisterously. H1/3 follows.]

**[Cut to different part of C floor – LEGO VO PART]**

Companion: "Doctor! Where do you think we've landed?"

Self-designed Doctor Figure (just a cobbled-together 12th Doctor, really): [taps TARDIS 'doors'] "No idea, but I can't open the TARDIS doors. Something's blocking her!"

C: "…Wait, the TARDIS doesn't even have a lock. Or _doors_."

Doctor: [looks Companion up and down] "You're looking rather pallid. Are you sure you didn't get hurt in the crash?"

C: "I'm fine, Doctor. Maybe you should check yourself over too."

Doctor: [looks down at hands] "Fancy that! I have claws." [Looks up at companion] "Are we on a crab planet?"

C: "I… don't think so. We're still humanoid enough."

Doctor: [sniffs, shakes head] "I don't like this. The air smells too _acidic_ for my tastes."

C: "We don't all have superior Time Lord senses. C'mon!" [starts walking away – as best he/she can as a Lego person]

Doctor: [yells] "And just where are you going?"

C: [yells back] "I'm not waiting here with you when there could be real acid fallout any minute. Come along if you're coming!"

Doctor: [looks back at TARDIS, follows before stopping companion] "Whatever did this to us could still be out there. We'll need disguises!"

C: "You're kidding."

Doctor: [shakes head, pulls brown trunk out of nowhere] "Bigger on the inside pockets!" [opens trunk, looks inside, brings out random assortment of Lego person parts/accessories] "Ha!" [picks up moustached head, switches with current one, then removes hair and puts on red cap, turns to companion holding out arms] "What do you think?"

C: [picks up white flat-cap and switches with hair. Picks up female top and switches from jacket] "I'll be alright with this, thanks."

Doctor: [points to supposed exit] "Onward!"

C: [shakes head, walks along] "Let's."

**[With the human group again!]**

[Human group heading for lifts] H2: "Our position is compromised. Lieutenant, report!"

H1: [looks down at something in hand] "Readings would suggest that the whole college is bathed in radiation – and these new gadgets we nicked from the IT department really are better than our previous equipment."

H2: "Duly noted. As for now, we need to get as close to the ground as possible."

H3: "What if they've bugged the lifts?"

H2: [narrows eyes] "Then from now on, we can only speak in secret spy code… that only I know how to decipher!"

H3: [nods to staircase] "…I was gonna suggest we use the stairs."

H1: "Or, availing that, we can use our new _teleport technology_!" [presses 'button', the group faze out to the front of college]

H2: "What kind of budget does their IT department have!?"

H3: "The off-world kind?"

H2: "What are you going on about now?"

H3: "_Think_ about it. What kind of 21st Century _College_ has _teleportation equipment_ just lying around!? It must be our mysterious assailant; they must have crashed-landed and jettisoned most of their hardware before the point of impact!"

H1: "Then they've been here for longer than we first thought. And now we've got their stuff…"

H3: "They knew we were going to take it; they can only get it back at their size and _from us_ if a being shrinks down with it!"

H2: "That explains why they can't go outside," [points at teleport device in H1's hands] "They don't have this."

[Bewildered looks are exchanged; image fades to black]

**END OF SCENE 1 (Well, more a compendium of a few compressed extracts, really, but we'll go with scene; on with compendium 2!)**

**A/N:** I just find it funny that '5 secs weather shot' was probably the only camera angle/shot/whatever I wrote for this whole film. I guess whoever's filming is gonna have it pretty hard, but luckily someone recently joined the group who I managed to educate well enough in how to work the camcorders and he's a pretty competent cameraman once he knows where to film.

Oh, and the humans just remain nameless for a while, or are never named in the film. I think I named them in an earlier synopsis… ah yes, H2 is Perkle, H1 is Fred, and H3 is Hamish. ('Hamish' is either a homage to an old school friend or to the Sherlock fandom; they'll understand it.)


	2. Scene 2

**A/N:** The humans (which will become Lego later on) are played by my classmates (as is the 'mysterious voice) but the Doctor and his companion are voiced by two TA's, and their characters remain Lego the whole way through. I shall hopefully post progress pics on my Tumblr (link on profile page) as they occur, so I'll probably end up blogging the entire production.

**Scene 2 (beginning in Lego)**

Doctor: [grumpy] "…We're not on a crab planet."

C: [falls over, gets up] "Though telling from how immobile these new bodies are, we might as well be!"

Doctor: [falls over too, doesn't get up. Voice muffled] "It's Earth! Oh, of course, the ground feels the same. So we're dealing with a good ol' Earth invasion! Ooh, things never change." [Gets up] "Companion! We have a mission."

C: "Doesn't it always involve stopping the bad guys?"

Doctor: "Not only that, I'm afraid – they're a sophisticated enough race that they've done something to our molecules." [Fell over again; voice muffled] "…This is worse than being a weeping angel! We have to find these monsters before they strike again."

C: [Helps Doctor up] "But how can we do that? We're two people." [Looks around] "…_Tiny_ people."

Doctor: "Yes, but you're forgetting that I'm a _Time Lord_. That automatically makes me 20% cooler, and 20% more likely to foil the insidious plot at work here."

C: "Even you're, like, a _billionth_ your original size. We can't hope to win…" [Appraises Doctor silently] "…Especially with you in that getup."

Doctor: "What!? It's nice."

C: "…Movember was last month, dumbass."

[Spooky noises arise, the two stop] Doctor: "Do you hear that…?"

The two look back. A gas-mask kid (from 'The Empty Child'/'The Doctor Dances') stands menacingly in the middle of the corridor, silent and unmoving.

Doctor: [stares] "…You can't exist."

C: [already in a sprint] "Doctor, just _run_!"

Doctor: [snaps out of it, catches up to companion] "But it can't exist, Pessle! It's something from one of my past adventures, and I _defeated_ it." [Starts running] "They're drawing on my memories!"

C: [Stops] "And what, may I ask, is so significant about you?"

Doctor: "Again, I'm a _Time Lord_. Big well of telepathic power, and with enough knowledge of the universe to kill a goat; imagine how much they could syphon off this gorgeous brain in one day!" [Puts hands on head] "They'd have enough power to rule the world. _And_ buy a second planet on expenses."

C: "Why can't they just use a human?"

Doctor: "You're a very low-level telepathic species; it's probably very limited access in there, what with your telepathic centres being closed off for the most part." [Shakes head] "They wouldn't really bother with your lot. They'd either wipe you out or enslave the strongest factions of the species."

C: "…Compared with being _extinct_, enslavement doesn't sound too bad."

Doctor: "Think _zoo animals_, but more importantly _alien zoos_. At night the weakest of you will be slain, and the rest of you will have to sleep in cages. Of course, that really depends on whether or not they'll actually let you sleep…"

C: [smacks Lego Doctor, sound effect will be added] "Doctor, stop it! Can you hear yourself?"

Doctor: [shakes head] "Of course, Pessle. I was merely pointing out the most likely scenario of being conquered by sentient aliens–"

C: "No more horror movies for you!" points in front of them, "March, mister! That gas-mask kid could catch up with us at any moment!

**[Human part – still outside, near drop-off point]**

H1: [pacing] "This is bad; this is very, _very_ bad."

H2: "Lieutenant! Pull yourself together. We have to stop the invading aliens!"

H3: "They're tiny! They're worse than tiny. They should be insignificant!"

H2: [glares] "You're not helping."

H3: "They're _yellow_."

H2: [tone becomes flat] "Stop–"

H3: "They want to turn _us_ yellow!"

H2: [shouts] "Corporal, shut it!"

H1: [still pacing] "Yes, turning out the worst possibilities will do us no good. We need to remain optimistic."

H3: "We'll be turned an _optimistic_ yellow!"

H2: [sighs] "It's no good. He's bloody lost to us."

H1: [stops pacing, hands on hips] "And what do you suggest we do now?"

H2: [starts pacing where H1 left off] "We can't stay here; they'll have traced our energy signal from the moment we teleported."

H3: [runs partway up ramp, shouts] "Then we fight!"

H2: "Yeah… we're only three of us."

H3: "And three of them! And a rather grouchy hag…"

H1: "There's a minuscule chance of planetary devastation, but I'm in!"

H2: [sighs] "Fine – I guess if we lose, whoever's still alive can bury the remains."

H3: [runs down to their level] "You guys are asses, but I wouldn't save the world with anyone else."

H1: "_Anyone else_ ran out about two hours ago."

H3: "My point exactly."

**[LEGO VO PART]**

The corridor is silent. It niggles at their senses, putting them on alert.

Doctor: "This stinks. It feels like we've been here for a day or more."

C: "That's your tiny feet talking. We've been walking for 5 minutes."

Doctor: "It's been _that_ long!?"

C: "For the last time: I will _not_ give you a piggyback ride the rest of the way!"

Doctor: [whines] "I miss the TARDIS. We shouldn't have left her."

C: "Your ship can look after herself. It's _us_ I'm worried about. That gas-mask kid hasn't made a reprisal, thankfully."

Doctor: "That still freaks me out. I can't pinpoint where the mental breach could be, but they obviously know my scariest adventures, so I wouldn't say the gas-mask kid is the last thing we'll see today."

C: "Wait – the gas-mask kid?"

Doctor: "A complete accident during the war with a five year old boy and an alien war ambulance – he then began turning people into him. That gasmask isn't a piece of technology, it's part of his skin. Barely got out of that one alive."

C: "The kid made it, yeah?"

Doctor: [nods] "Oh yeah, though had to work on the flipping nanogenes a bit before they returned everything to normal. Aha!" [Stops, points at door] "An opening! We haven't passed any of these."

C: "Doctor, it could be a trap!"

Doctor: "Nonsense, Pessle! No, the three other openings I could have pointed out earlier were traps. This one is merely getting us closer to our assailant."

C: "And that's good thing?"

Doctor: "No, but then if they really wanted to kill us they could just do it in person and get it over with. None of this long, drawn out mystery they're trying to entice us with."

C: "_You_, you mean."

Doctor: "This way we'll simply bring the mystery to us!"

C: "_No_. I refuse to be part of this ego-trip."

Doctor: "Suit yourself! More mystery for me." [Walks away jovially]

**END OF SCENE 2**

**A/N:** I didn't even proofread this again before posting here, so apologies for any typos that I failed to miss in the first few; unless I did them on purpose.


End file.
